the door was left open a crack
giving the opportunity for you to step in
to explore what’s on the other side
maybe just a foot at first
a chance to test the waters
of something new
set within something familiar
you stood just outside
perhaps placing your palm
upon the door
reluctant to open it any further
resistant to my offer
i stood inside
placing my palm
upon the door
searching for movement
to give me a sign
we stood still
an impassable barrier between us
that we could not see through
or feel through
“good night”
were your final words
before you closed the door
and walked away
just inside the doorway
i am stopped
complete silence
holds me against my will
first external
no fountain in the courtyard
no cars passing by
no people in conversation
moving internal
no song
no joy
no hope
i stand in silent stillness
unable to scream
to talk
to move
tears no longer accessible
lungs struggling for air
a heart barely able to beat
silent and frozen
in disbelief
i realize
i am alone
“Love after Love”
by Derek Walcott
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
we are controlled
by chemicals
epinephrine
acetylcholine
caffeine
nicotine
alcohol
Love
Love is chemical
in the most complex way
we meet
adrenaline rushes
hearts race
palms sweat
serotonin floods
we feel euphoric
giddy
we kiss
we make Love
we fill with oxytocin
we hold each other
close
we settle happily
into each others arms
vasopressin circulates
the bond grows strong
but Love is chemical
in the most complex way
chemicals break down
returning our bodies
to homeostasis
normal levels
balance
physiological neutrality
leaving us to once again
crave
another chemical rush
